I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
