I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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