I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can you bring me the toilet please
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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