I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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