can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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