Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
