i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
