He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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