In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
