last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
