If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
