awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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