you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
