Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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