I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
