Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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