youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
