chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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