Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
