That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
