dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
