Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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