he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
