office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
