Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
