I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
