Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
