D3 body, D1 cock
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need to calm my uterus...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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