Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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