i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
