This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
