if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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