I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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