Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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