And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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