I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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