Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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