I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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