I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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