when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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