FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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