im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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