So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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