I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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