when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
