Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
