Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
