those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
