Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
