I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize