I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize