it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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