I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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