check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
