i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
