Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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