Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize