I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
