Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize