On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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