If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
