is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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