You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
