just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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